Survivor Self-Care

"Self-care" means looking after yourself. It means treating yourself as person who deserves care.

Self-care is how you take your power back

Lalah Delia

Man in Brown Sweater Sitting on Floor

Caring for yourself is often challenging for people who have experienced complex trauma including childhood trauma and abuse. That’s because you were harmed by another person. Sometimes it was done on purpose. At other times it happened because the other person had their own issues which stopped them caring for you.

When an adult neglects, hits, insults, abuses or ignores a child, the child starts to believe that they aren’t worth much. Often this happens time and again. This often means that the child grows up believing that they don’t deserve to be loved or cared for – that they are unlovable or worthless.

The adult, who that child becomes, can feel worthless too. Learning to care for yourself if you are survivor, means seeing yourself in a new way. It means seeing yourself as a person who deserves to feel comfortable, safe and worthwhile.

You don’t have to do anything complicated to care for yourself. You can do very simple things, whatever you can manage. It’s good to try to do one or two caring things for yourself each day.

It can be a good idea to have some things to do in the moment (e.g. when you are faced with challenges), each day as an ongoing practice and things that will improve your wellbeing in the longer term. This can become a toolkit that helps you become stronger and more able to manage life’s challenges.

For example, you might have a range of different strategies you can use in the moment  that help you feel settled when you face difficult situations. On top of this you might do some things each day that help to nurture you (e.g. spending time with your pet, making time for friends whose company you enjoy, listening to some of your favourite music).

Then the long-term goal might be to develop a skill that interests you (maybe woodwork, an art class, learning to surf etc.) or focussing on your health (e.g. learning to cook meals that nurture you, doing an activity that keeps you fit) or working on a project that builds your future.

Strategies which help you care for yourself can stop you being overwhelmed by strong emotions. They can help ground you and help you regain control over difficult emotions, such as anger, shame or distress. They can help stop you reacting and spiralling out of control.

Jeannine Burt survivor

We hope you found the above information helpful.
If you would like to read more about caring for yourself, please click on the boxes below.

Nurturing Yourself

Nurturing Yourself

Self-Soothing

Self-Soothing

Grounding

Grounding

Using Anchors

Using Anchors

Self-Talk

Self-Talk

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Blue Knot Helpline and Redress Support Service

Blue Knot Helpline and Redress Support Service

Blue Knot Helpline and Redress Support Service is a specialist service.

Our counsellors provide empathetic, informative and empowering support for adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse.