In this issue you can read about our social media campaign for 2018 Blue Knot Day. The theme is ‘REAL LIVES. REAL CHANGE’. We are asking you to show your compassion, your understanding and your support, to yourself and others by downloading sharable images and posting to social media with the hashtag ‘#unitebkd’. See main article for links and details.

In My Story this month we bring you the evocative poem by Erina “If Our Scream Was Heard” – I think many of our readers will resonate with her words.

In the ‘Self Care Resources’ section we review a free app that offers several libraries of resources. The recently added range of courses is relatively accessible, costing less that two cups of coffee for each course.

Our book review this month introduces you to the work of a world renown yoga teacher who founded ‘Trauma Sensitive Yoga’. The book explains how this modified practice can be helpful for healing and recovery.

Our feature article provides a caller’s experience of the Blue Knot Helpline. We have also provided a guide to help you find and choose a therapist to support your recovery or that of someone you know is thinking about seeing a counsellor.

As always if you have comments about what you have read in this issue, contributions for the My Story section or suggestions for future issues, please contact me at newsletter@blueknot.org.au

Warm regards
Jane Macnaught

Historic Apology 

By Dr Cathy Kezelman AM, President

Blue Knot Foundation National Centre of Excellence For Complex Trauma

Members of the Blue Knot Team (pictured) travelled with Cathy Kezelman to the National Apology in Canberra

The National Apology delivered on Monday 22 October to victims of institutional child sexual abuse by the Prime Minister Hon. Scott Morrison MP and the Leader of the Opposition Hon. Bill Shorten MP was truly historic.

The Royal Commission revealed that tens of thousands of children experienced the brutality and horror of sexual abuse in our institutions. Many experienced other abuses, violations and loss of dignity as well. Often victims were disbelieved, blamed and punished.

The apology was delivered in the House of Representatives to a full chamber with many survivors and advocates looking on. Many others watched as the apology was live streamed into the Great Hall of Parliament House, the lawn outside and at other venues in different States and Territories. Many watched online or chose not to watch, as doing so was just too hard. For many it was incredibly tough to be there, but also hopefully healing, as the words acknowledged their pain, distress and anger.

Long Awaited Apology

For, in this very public way, survivors were told that they have now been heard, that they are believed and that the abuse was not their fault. And that this should never have happened. For many this was incredibly moving and long awaited.

It was significant that both leaders also acknowledged that not all victims were sexually abused, but experienced other abuses, often, as well. That children in Australia are abused and neglected in different ways, and in different places, such as the home and the family and that this apology was acknowledging the harm done to all survivors.

It is hard to describe the emotion in the room, the adulation with which Julia Gillard, who was the Prime Minister who called the Royal Commission, was welcomed.

National Museum and Centre of Excellence

Both leaders acknowledged that words are not enough and committed to continue to implement the recommendations of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. The Prime Minister committed to establishing a National Centre of Excellence around Child Sexual Abuse and a National Museum which will not only act as ‘a place of truth and reconciliation’ – a memorial for victims of institutional child sexual abuse.

Prime Minister Morrison announced that he would be moving responsibility for the National Office of Child Safety into Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, as doing what we can to ensure that children are safe in the future is just so important. He also committed to reporting annually in December on the implementation of the Royal Commission recommendations by his government.

As the redress scheme rolls out and the words of the apology ring out across our nation, it is time for real change, and that change took a step forward with the apology.

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SELF CARE RESOURCES

“Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga. Reclaiming Your Body”
By David Emerson & Elizabeth Hopper

Rethinking Yoga

Trauma Sensitive Yoga Australia

Trauma Centre Trauma Centre Yoga Australia

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Insight Timer – Phone App

Insight Timer is an app that offers so much more than the useful timer.

Is Your Therapist "Trauma-Informed"?

Russell’s Story

Russell (fictional) has been to a number of different mental health professionals for ongoing anxiety and depression over the past 10 years. Russell often felt misunderstood by them. He wondered if his struggles had anything to do with him being touched by his father, where he shouldn’t have been, when he was a little boy.

In addition to his low mood, Russell sometimes would drink until he blacked out. The panic he felt sometimes made him desperate and he felt so anxious it was like he was dying. Sometimes he felt like hurting himself. He was hospitalised twice, once when he had thoughts and a plan of harming himself; the other time, when he thought he was experiencing a heart attack but the doctors told him he was in a panic with his anxiety.

Russell had given up on counselling because he felt it wasn’t helping him. In fact he was starting to experience memories of his father hurting him and of being so scared that he was unable to move.

One day, after speaking to his friend Blake, he decided to give counselling one more go. Blake has spoken to a counsellor on the Blue Knot Helpline, “they get it – the telephone counsellors there just got me.” Blake explained that the Blue Knot Helpline counsellor “actually said that I could get better with the right help – that I could in time understand why I felt angry all the time and that they’d help me with it .” He described how Blue Knot had also connected him with a counsellor near him that he had been seeing for over two years now, and how much calmer and more together he felt for it.

Calling The Helpline

Russell called the Helpline and was surprised how quickly he felt that he could really talk to the counsellor who picked up. Her name was Tansy (pseudonym). When he started to speak, his words got jumbled, and he couldn’t finish his sentences. Tansy invited him to slow down, and take his time. For the first time he felt that the pressure inside him start to ease. And she didn’t ask lots of questions. She listened to how he was feeling, and acknowledged his feelings and reflected back what he was telling her. She gave him plenty of time, and he felt heard, validated and as a result supported.

When he spoke about his drinking he expected to be told off. But Tansy didn’t do that at all. She seemed to understand. She said that often people who have experienced trauma use different ways to soothe themselves. Alcohol was just one of them. Tansy wondered if drinking was one of the ways in which Russell might try and calm himself when he felt distressed or anxious.

When he mentioned that he smoked. Tansy suggested that the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling is another way we can soothe ourselves. . Again Tansy helped Russell feel heard and not judged.

Previous therapists had asked Russell lots of questions. That had made him feel as though there was something wrong with him. That’s not how he felt speaking with Tansy. Even though some of the ways Russell coped were not so good for his health in the long run, he could better understand why he used them. Tansy implied that over time he could maybe find other ways but that for now, these helped him cope with the memories and horrors of his childhood. She understood that something bad had happened to him in childhood, and helped him understand that those things might help explain why he struggled with anxiety and depression.

And so, Russell started to feel safe. When he became agitated, Tansy invited him to take a break, slow down, and guided him through a simple grounding practice.

The first time Russell felt safe and contained with a counsellor was really memorable. . It was so different to his previous experiences when he felt like he would explode and then just felt so down on himself.

Tansy used a trauma-informed approach and explained:
• Why grounding can be helpful
• His reactions were normal stress responses to trauma,
• The memories were activating his nervous system making him feel agitated and anxious, sometimes and shut down at others
• That people who have experienced trauma sometimes use different ways to help them cope such as drinking

Russell felt enormous relief.

Tansy let Russell know that his feelings and reactions made sense. She listened deeply to what he was saying. She listened to his story and also to his strengths, resilience and capacity to cope. She helped him, have a sense of hope that healing and feeling better was possible and gave him some strategies for the way forward. She understood that he had developed different ways to cope with his experiences and their impacts. She told him that there were many other ways to cope that may be better for his health in the long run. She validated his courage in continuing to look for the right counselling support for him.

What made the difference? Tansy the Blue Helpline Counsellor had been trained in Trauma-Informed Care. She worked using the 5 core principles of safety, trustworthiness, choice, collaboration and empowerment.

The Blue Knot Helpline hosts a national referral database of trauma-informed health professionals and agencies with expertise and experience in working with adult survivors of childhood abuse and trauma, and their supporters. 

We encourage you to call the Blue Knot Helpline on 1300 657 380 between 9 and 5 Monday to Sunday, for counselling support, information, support with the National Redress Scheme process and to access our referral database. 

Finding A Local Trauma-Informed Practitioner or Agency

How Do You Choose?

Choosing a therapist can be, confusing and time-consuming. It is often advisable to ‘shop around’ before you make your choice. 

The following advice might help you:

• Seek personal recommendations from other survivors.
• Seek recommendations from Blue Knot Helpline on 1300 657 380, 9-5 Mon-Sun AEST.
• Prepare a list of questions to ask the therapist you have chosen, eg. What is his/her experience in working with survivors (particularly with issues that are relevant to you)?
• Call 2-3 so you can compare the answers and how they “feel” over the phone
• What approach(es) does he/she use in therapy?
• How much will it cost?
• Is there any possibility of a concessional rate?
• What are the options for payment?
• How available is he/she?
• What form do the sessions take?
• How long are the sessions?
• What are the rules about cancelling a session? 
• When you call, let them know you are being referred from Blue Knot then you won’t need to talk about your history on the phone 

Feel Safe

Make sure you feel safe in the building & consulting rooms. Do you feel free to ask questions? Your chosen therapist would ideally answer any questions you have about their experience, models of working, professional memberships and qualifications. 

Comfortable?

Once you have entered into a therapeutic relationship with a professional, if you feel yourself being pushed too hard, or you are uncomfortable with suggested therapeutic methods, try to discuss your concerns with your therapist. You should be comfortable with the pace of your therapy. It is good to talk openly about any difficulties you are experiencing in the session.  A good therapeutic relationship will not always be smooth sailing. There can often be relationship challenges. The best way to approach these are to be as open and transparent with the difficulties as possible. A good therapist will work though these issues as they are part of the healing and the therapy. 

Consider your options if:

• The therapists you are considering stress a particular approach or technique, or who are dogmatic about issues such as forgiveness, confrontation, etc.
• The therapists you are considering give hugs, shake hands too readily, or sit too close without invitation. If you do feel uncomfortable when interviewing a therapist, trust your instincts.
• Your therapist seems overly interested in your sexual history and questions you in detail, especially when the questioning appears irrelevant.
• Your therapist avoids sensitive issues and talks in generalities. Is your therapist able to handle the feelings and content that you bring to therapy? 

Trust Yourself!

• Is there something that you feel uncomfortable about? Raise this issue openly?
• It is important for you to feel you have choices over what happens in therapy, you feel that you are heard and that you can speak openly and that you have control over the way the sessions runs as much as possible.
• If you don’t understand something that happens in therapy, ask questions and raise your concerns.
• If you are not happy that this is the right therapist for you, speak to him/her openly about that and look for another referral. 

The therapist you choose should be a good listener, who is both empathetic and non-judgmental. Your therapist needs to be a trusted partner in your process. If you feel that you have not found the right therapist call the Blue Knot Helpline again and ask for another referral. 

Seeing a Professional

Choosing a Therapist

Blue Knot Foundation Practice Guidelines documents principles that guide health professionals, service providers and the community’s understanding of effective trauma informed care and practice. 

Blue Knot Foundation provides referrals as a service only and cannot guarantee its suitability for any service user’s particular needs.

IN THE NEWS

National apology means time for action – prior Governor-General, who failed to act must be stripped of pension and entitlements.

FORMER Australian governor-general Dr Peter Hollingworth should be stripped of his $600,000 a year entitlement after it was found he protected paedophiles during his time as Anglican Archbishop. Read more here.

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Of all the politicians, Julia Gillard was the only one survivors really wanted

A survey of our recent prime ministers’ whereabouts on Monday: Kevin Rudd, in Canberra, promoting his new memoir by dripping out criticisms of his former colleagues. Malcolm Turnbull, in transit from his exile in New York, blamed for the Liberals’ trouncing in Wentworth.  Read more here

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Calls to Remove Charity Status of Abusive Organisations

Charities involved in institutional abuse that fail to enter the national redress scheme should lose their charitable status, abuse survivors say amid the prime minister’s national apology to survivors of child sexual abuse. . Read More

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