Many survivors find it hard to manage their distress or soothe themselves. That’s because childhood trauma makes managing everyday stress difficult. The stress trauma causes is even harder and more regular.  This is because of the way trauma affects our body and mind. 

If we aren’t comforted and told its okay as children, we can look for other ways to calm ourselves down. Some of these can harm us e.g. hurting ourselves, using alcohol or drugs, acting out, being impulsive.  

The good news is that survivors can learn to tolerate their distress as adults. Survivors can also learn how to soothe themselves.   

When you’re feeling vulnerable or fragile the following suggestions can help you feel nurtured and less fragile. 

You might try

·         wrapping yourself up in a soft blanket

·         cuddling a soft toy or pillow

·         hugging and getting a hug from someone you love

·         warm bath

·         foot massage

·         crying

·         cup of hot chocolate

·         hugging a heat pack,

·         playing with the dog or cuddling the cat